Monday, December 31, 2012

MY 2012 was ...

Where do I start?
2012 has been crazy! And by crazy, I mean hectic! Phew! When the year was starting, I believed it was going to be an amazing and awesome year for me. Why? Because I love even numbers. You know, like, "2,4,6,8,10" etc. You get it? So 2012 was an even year, so I thought, "This owe to be great!"
I was not so wrong, but neither was I right. 2012 was ... Oh well, let's round it off together, perhaps you will help me conclude with ONE WORD to describe my year.

1. At the start of the year, I really had no stable job. Yes I act and sing but those depend a lot on if one has lots of gigs booked- which I sort of did not. So the year started off really slow.

2. The magazine for which I wrote for also took a break to sort out some issues so that was a downer.

3. Good thing I had my radio job which I enjoy and my colleagues and bosses are awesome!! :) So that kept me on my feet. It gave me something to look forward to each day.

4. A book project in which I was a part of as a writer started off well with good money too besides loving to do it but then it came to a standstill and took forever to kick off again. As I type, things are looking up again.

5. A documentary in which I worked as the interviewer went well and boy was I busy those months, the team and I ensuring we shoot and get all we need to make it top notch. After we handed in the documentary, which was like many months ago, we have not received a penny for our hardwork. That was such a big downer for me and I hate it. I find people who work like this REALLY unprofessional and inconsiderate. I am sure you know what I mean because many a Ugandan do this. Get a service given and then they are reluctant or too slow to pay up- yet they were calling everyday before as you did the work, but now you call to ask about your payment, and suddenly they are busy or not available or they just don't answer or they keep making empty promises.. blah, blah, blah!

Anyway, moving on.

6. I broke up with my long term boyfriend (end last year). Yes. I was dating someone but realised we were on two different chapters of our lives so I thought it best to let go and move on. It has been the best decision I have made all year! I feel so much better. I am more fulfilled- spiritually, emotionally & mentally uplifted. :) 

7. It was my late father's memorial this year in August and it took a toll on me. Sadness, depression, lots of questions unanswered... etc. I mean, that is what you feel when your dad is murdered for unclear reasons. His body was never found so he was never buried. We had to make a plaque for him and my aunt with whom he was killed. I had to write a message on it that was deep and close to my heart. Then we travelled all the way to the village, where the ceremony was held. A lot was going on in my life already, this was another downer. The good side of it though is that finally there is a tombstone with my father's name & picture on it. It was a form of closure for me. Rest in peace dad.

8. My music recording has been going well so far and I am glad the public is receiving my new song well. More singles are set to come out in 2013 so yes, this has been an upside for me. Got to perform at Ruth Komuntale's (the Tooro Princess) welcome party with her fiance, performed at Club Amnesia which premiered my video for my single "Party on My Mind", had a number of press interviews about my work, met amazing people; so I thank God for all the opportunities he has accorded me in 2012.

9. I got nominations for my work:
- In the current Radio & TV Academy Awards 2012 for OUTSTANDING NEWCOMER FEMALE RADIO PRESENTER (I co-host a show dubbed "THE JAM" at Radiocity 97fm, every Monday to Friday, 3pm-7pm) https://www.facebook.com/radiocity.ug?ref=ts&fref=ts
The voting is still ongoing online at  http://www.quibblo.com/quiz/hLQsAr-/RTV-ACADEMY-AWARDS-2013-WHO-MIGHT-WIN?view_quiz=1
If you are in Uganda, you can also vote by SMS. Simply type: RTVA Cleopatra 12
 and then send to 8888.

- MOST GIFTED ACTRESS in the Super Talent Awards 2012
-In the Pearl International Film Festival 2012 for BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS in the film, State Research Bureau.
Being acknowledged for my work is humbling and it makes work even harder. I take nothing for granted.

10. Lastly, I got to do a lot of inspirational talks to students in schools with Reach a Hand Uganda, a charity organisation that focuses on the youths, and I am a Goodwill Ambassador. It was inspiring to me too and sharing with these young people, encouraging and mentoring them is my way of giving back to the community.   http://www.reachahand.org/

11. Ofcourse a few friends disappointed me.... and I guess I disappointed a few too, but this is life. We cannot please everyone. We win some, lose some. I have come to terms with it. I hope you have too.

12. Those who owe me money do not seem like they want to pay me back. Sucks!

Well, 2012 was ....... for me. (You can fill in the blank)
I pray 2013 is way much better for me and for you. It's no longer about "Odds" and "Evens". I do not believe in that anymore, thanks to 2012. Let's toast to the future! Cheers. :)

Monday, December 17, 2012

Emptiness

Emptiness....
Emptiness is what I feel sometimes...
Can't fight it, no matter how much I try,
My body quivers as I shiver
I try to speak but words fail me
"Oh if only I could say it", I think to myself.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!
I scream my lungs out
Fall to the ground almost lifeless
Then begin to shake,
I am not dying,
I am crying...
and crying...
and crying.

Is it better to be dead than hurt this much?
I ask,
Is it better to be dead than hurt this much?
The pain I feel is intense
The void is immense
Pluck my heart out of me
These emotions I do not want.

How else will you know the feeling?
What feeling?
The feeling of love
The feeling of anything.
Without the heart
We are nothing.
I feel emptiness sometimes
But this is life
This moment shall pass.

Is anybody out there? ANSWER ME!

Hello? Hello? ...
Helloooooo?
I am talking to you reading this. Are you there? Can you please prove to me you are by posting a comment or something on my blog? I swear most times I feel as if I am sharing thoughts with myself. I need you to interact with me or else I am dying here. :( Going nuts in other words.

Thanks to those of you who take time to indulge with me on my blog. The majority simply view/read and click away.... yes I know coz it shows me how many views each post gets but if that was in accordance with your feedback and sharing, it would be AWESOME!! Plus, I would be wiser due to sharing with you. :)

Now come on, do not shatter my spirit by staying silent, write back, say something.... That is the reason for this blog. My thoughts, your feedback.

I will look forward to hearing from you, the man/woman behind a computer/laptop. That's supposed to be an evil laugh. Lol. ;) Okay, not necessary, I get it.

xoxo.